That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
