I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
as a side note pls kill me
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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