theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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