toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
