yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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