So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
