drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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