You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
