found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
