It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
