Pants 0. Shit 1.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
