my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You did what with his pubic hair?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
