whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
