apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
