We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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