Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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