some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
