I didn't shave. On purpose
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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