I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
me + whiskey = a bad person
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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