Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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