he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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