O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
