dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
