btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i think i have herpe
just one?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
