why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
