lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
