We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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