it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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