alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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