I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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