my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
