why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
