So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
