In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
