So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
