he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
