dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
