turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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