And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
