Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
