I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize