Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
