I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
