Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
