these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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