Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
