Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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