I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
