i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
