I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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