oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
